Monday, August 10, 2009

Battles That Never Seem To End

My mother and I have never been able to get along. All my memories consist of all the fights my mother and I have fought which none of them ended anywhere thats considered worked out between us. Fights that consist of the real deal and many that would be considered over stupid little things. I am so sick of it!!!!
Everytime we have some sort of conversation it always ends up yelling at each other til the cows come home. She always takes what i say the wrong way and is always on the defence when i say anything. She always says i dont listen when i always do. I cant help that she jumps down my throat at the first possible moment when she thinks everything is against her!!
On mondays during the summer my mom has the day off since she is a secretary of a school, so on that note today is monday and i got ready to leave when she asks me what i am up to and i told her i am going out and will be back. So far so good it seems right?
I went to my college campus store to look for the isbn numbers for my text books for my fall semester. Then decided to go to walmart since they have sales on appliances thats cheap which i wanted to buy for when i get an apartment. Which by the way was amazing.
So I get home and walk in to find my mom smiling so i was like okay shes happy which is always good. But I decided to bring up the money/tax topic up to her. Was this a good idea?
HELLS NO!!!!
You see i paid for practically all my tuition myself and i couldnt put it on my tax returns because my parents took me as a dependent. My parents promised if they get anything back from taxes that is related to school they would give it to me. So I asked my mom about it and told her i was hoping to use that money in order to pay for my health insurance for school since they dont have it. Then she told me that she didnt know and they didnt get federal back. I was so upset about it. I could of put myself as a dependent and got mad money back and pay a lot of things for college and i told her that. Then she threw a fit. She was saying how they my parents mind you will always take me as a dependent and there was nothing i could do about it. I was like that is so selfish. Its like using me in order to get more money back on their tax returns without even thinking that if i did put myself as a dependent i could have been able to worry less about money for college. I seriously wanted to slap her. Im sorry but im not going to lie about how i felt at that moment. I told her you should seriously hear yourself.
I went into my room to look up the law on tax dependents to find out that they could keep me on as a dependent because i live at home and i am a full time student. The only thing i can do is move out and i then can claim myself. I always feel like im chained to them and I CANT STAND THAT!!!
They always seem to create more problems than solve anything. She never even let me explain that i was hoping to not use as much of my savings money to pay for both insurance and tuition. But no its always about them, well excuse me HER!! Then after a while she yells up the stairs for me and instead of talking to me like a civilized person, she is still upset with me and throws me attitude in the mix. Using the excuse that im like its none of your business and never giving them figures and that I wouldnt allow them to know anything.
FIRST OF ALL, i never said to her that they couldnt know how much it cost. SECOND, when i said that i meant personal life and there is some things with money like my savings and other payments which is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! Last time i checked im an adult. AND THIRDLY, I have told them figures which were rounded because i couldnt remember exact figures and discussed it with them. I have talked to them about the money from the taxes for what i paid for school and I SWEAR SHE SAID THAT THEY WERE GIVEN BACK $1000. I think they might be using it and if im right I SWEAR ILL BE SOOO PISSED!!!
Im so tired of this bullshit and i want to be on my own. Im sick of living at home where im questioned and yelled at all the time like a fucking prisoner!!! Im sick of trying to work things out when its impossible. All i can say is good bye and fare well because i will walk out when the opportunity is right. Im not staying home forever fuck that.
Once im out peace and tranquility, thats all i really want!!!!!!